Friday, September 6, 2019

Awkward {Kisses}

1// Girls Gotta Eat's podcast reminded me of one of the most awkward kisses I've had. First and foremost, the first prize winner of awkward kisses I've had goes to the lifeguard whose kiss was the temperature of a lukewarm chlorine puddle at the side of the pool. Take your prize, my dude. (Yes, this is harsh since it was his first time touching lips with someone else.)

2// The guy I am reminded of is the guy who kissed me close-lipped like one might kiss a frog. I went in for a cute quick parted lip locked kiss and his lips got stuck in the middle of mine. Both of his lips. Come to think about it, they were thin. People say a first kiss can make or break something and in this case, it wiped away one of the cutest dates I've been on. I just couldn't get the kiss out of my mind. 

Months later, tonight, I remembered a small detail about this kiss that made me laugh out loud and cringe on the inside. Days before the date and the kiss we texted, WE had a conversation about first kisses. I dug a hole for myself by saying tounge on the first kiss is a no go. Which to this day, personally, I don't enjoy on date one (it's not classy) but I got kissed with closed lips like this guy was a germaphobe all because I had texted no tongue might have been worse.

3// "We're parked outside of your house with your mother home though," I said to the guy who was then going to introduce me to his mother on our first date. Today and about a year and a half later he is receiving the third most awkward kiss award. 

This guy wanted to introduce me to his mother after we had spent maybe a few hours together. I've now discovered that meeting parents on the first date is a red flag. There we were parked outside of his house in his car about to kiss. After the kiss had happened he said something along the lines of that being a terrible first kiss because he felt like his nerves got to him. I could not have agreed more with him, but everyone makes mistakes, right? I let him try again and guess what, it didn't get any better. The thought of meeting his mother on our FRIST date had blocked out any enjoyment I would have had kissing him.

NOTES: Tounges a no go and please, leave the nerves out of kisses and mothers out of first dates.  

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Maira Gall