WTF, WHERE The F, Did The Time Go?

Officially, I have three weeks until the Fall term is over. Within the next three weeks, I will be running an event on campus and putting together a presentation on it, doing an ECG lab and taking a final, and finishing the rest of an online class. Since the start of the term, I have been trying to take it project by project, and it's worked so far! The next three weeks are going to be a rush but it's all doable and I've got to remind myself of that.

Time goes by so fast sometimes.

I am proud of the accomplishments I have made within the last 8 weeks. The biggest one that will set me up for success is that I have found a site to intern at. It's near home and with someone who I think I'll get along with. Another few accomplishments are ones like not having any late assignments, getting a 95 on my first physiology test, and putting a bulletin board up. These are the school and future-related things I am proud of doing.

On a more personal level, I have managed to decrease my anxiety and depression. In the last couple of weeks, it has been slowly fading. I am at ease with my emotional life being lighter and less down. I feel like I am a lot more relaxed in general and I am able to think more clearly. BABY, MY INSPIRATION, MUSE, and LIFE IS COMING BACK! (The overthinker in me hopes that it doesn't become too good.)

I've acquired a nose stud. It's something I've wanted for a while now and I finally have it. I'm super excited about having a little edge on the outside glitter. Intelligent people can wear glitter on their faces. It's fine. I am adoring it. Within a couple of days wearing it, I feel like it has given me a boost of confidence. It's interesting how something little like jewelry can do that.

What else is there to talk about?

People and seasons. I've always enjoyed how people come in and out of my life like seasons. I tend not to be too emotionally connected to them but I will always hold them in my heart. People are special. Even if they hurt you in the end. It's like trauma situations. They suck but there is a silver lining. Same thing applies to humans!

Twenty-two and still can't drive but I think I'll change that soon. I do have a neat stud though. (; CAN WE PLEASE SLOW DOWN TIME TOO?...

Thankful for the friend I saw today. The coffee bean worker who is a kinder soul bought me coffee . I think he will go far. Thankful for my little ray of a sister as well and my better mental health.

WTF I'm Twenty Something

I am sitting in the corner of my bedroom on the carpet and I'm talking to a friend who seems to be going through a little of what I've been feeling lately. Overwhelmed by time slipping away and not knowing where to go and what to do. Something about being in my twenties makes me want to sit in the corner of my room, provided by my mother, all day long. Sitting here on the carpet seems safe.

Being twenty-something is a huge WTF. One day I woke up (all of a sudden!) an age where I am considered an adult, am suppose to be working, have my shit somewhat together, and learn how to live independently. I don't know how to do any of that and I think that a lot of others don't know how to do that either. The ones that seem to be doing it are faking it, I'm convinced. I want to stay a child all my life but at the same time, I want to see the world, do this thing called growing up, and "live it up," but I'm scared. Life after graduation makes me want to run too. Working for the rest of my life sounds dreadful. What does it even mean to be twenty-something?

This blog post reminds me of some of my very first blog posts. Rambly with somewhat of a point but not directed in any way. I was maybe 14 when I first blogged the weird transition from child to what they call a teen. I was a late bloomer. I started being a true American teen when I was 19. That's when I had my first kiss and started coming up with a bunch of little lies to embrace living life. I was rebelling. A little late but I was doing it. I finally felt like I wasn't missing out on what it was like to grow up.

That is until I became twenty-two and realized that I am nearly the same person I was when I was 19 except I have a few more fun things of OOPS I did that's to add to the list. At 21 I tried getting my permit to only come to realize they charge more than five dollars for the permit card. I still haven't gone back to the DMV to try and get that permit. I'm giving up on being responsible. I live with my mother and sister and for the most part, they make great roommates. Besides the fact I can't invite dates over it's fine. That's what lies are for or saying you are doing something you aren't is a thing. DUH. I still haven't let go of that newly found teenage rebellion.

Now that I think about it a big part of growing up is owning up to what you are doing. Being mature about it. Things like saying, "I'm going on a date." to my mother and answering all her questions about who the next Bumble bachelor is. Yeah right, am I going to be doing that any time soon. Most of these guys aren't worth explaining to my mother. Maybe I should just marry off young to someone who has their shit together so I can be someone taken care of? These are all the things being twenty-two makes me think of. Along with taxes, credit, health care, and cutting down on sugar.

Here's to being confused, overwhelmed, uninspired, and twenty-two. And to my fellow friends who are just as overwhelmed by growing up: someone told me it gets better but I'm not sure if I believe them.